These and more than these

A lot going on, etc, etc. My mother's first Diwali party in the new house went marvellously well. My in-laws were here for it; lots of family friends; plus three of my friends, brown and married-into-brown. Food, patake, tikka and diya, a little bit of aarti and sweets. I got a Diwali cake from Lola's because I was so shocked and delighted that you can get commercially made Diwali cakes now, and it turned to be delicious; a kind of mango coconut confection with rose petals and pista barfi stuck to the top. So I got dressed up, everyone came, and it's so utterly fucking lovely to see A. and L. casually happy and comfortable as part of a brown family. I never get tired of it. My dad not being here made us realise that no one at the party knew how to tie a kalawa. It's supposed to be a priestly skill, and my dad came from a very traditional Brahmin family. (This was the first time I'd realised this, since his death: because I'm a Brahmin Hindu by solely patrilineal descent, I was the only one in the room. Me. The priestly skills of the Bronze Age pandits. Me.) The thing is, if my dad tied a kalawa, it never, ever, ever came off - he was a surgeon tying surgeon's knots, so the thread just stays with you until it drops off. The threads got tied anyway, without him and even though I know nothing. We're gonna have to abolish the caste system, it turns out.

Diwali isn't till tomorrow, actually! But I'm so pleased about it all.

I'm having a bit of an existential time, otherwise. Writing has been bad, it's making me feel genuinely sick and sad, and I've been worrying a lot about my Wednesdays. If I don't write on them, and I don't work on them, what do I do? Related: cluster is why I don't work in the mornings, but if cluster isn't hitting me every day, then what am I doing with my time? And that, inexorably, has been turning into - well, what am I doing with my life? I'm having trouble with that. My therapist, who is helpful sometimes, gave me advice, and then started laughing at herself for just... giving me advice, against all tenets of the therapeutic relationship. It was good advice, I think. It was - do nothing. Stop trying to get a grip on your life. Fill each Wednesday with whatever you feel like doing that day.

I'm trying it. We'll see what happens. So far it seems to have been reading a lot of children's literature, Joan Aiken, CS Lewis, Judy Blume - and I was actually going to divide this part about the books from the rest of the post, but it strikes me that "Hindu adult reads books intended for Christian children" is a pretty good segue. ( the rest of this is about me rereading Narnia )

Dear yuletide author,

I'm singlecrow on the AO3. Thank you very much for writing for me, I will be happy and excited about whatever you write! I am also open to and excited about treats, should anyone wish to write me any.

My general do not wants are violence against women and omegaverse, with a caveat about "The Day After The Revolution", see below. But that aside, I read very broadly. I enjoy sad and dark stories, happy stories, love stories, stories with sex in, stories without. I don't do Christmas, so would prefer a story not be entirely about the characters celebrating it. Other festivals are marvellous.

One thing I really love, in sad and happy stories alike, is people being quietly kind to one another. I also really like people being competent, and found families of all sorts.

Fandom-specific stuff follows.

( The Chronicles of Chrestomanci - Diana Wynne Jones )

( The Day Before The Revolution - Ursula K. Le Guin )

( The Saint of Steel - T Kingfisher )

That's it - as above, I read many things, and I'm thrilled that you're writing for me! I hope you have a wonderful yuletide.

Cheers,
raven